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Current Music:Three Days Grace-track 1
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Subject:Holy Crap it has been a long time
Time:11:51 am
Current Mood:cheerfulcheerful
This was inevitable. I knew I would not be able to be a faithful lj user. Oh well, what are ya going to do? NADA! So my life....I will be attending Hartwick College in the fall, GO Hawks!, and i think I will have a good time there how long I stay there is still up in the air, but w/e. My friends still rock, job is good, and summer is awesome. I promise that I will update this silly thing a little more often. THat is all for now. Toodles!
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Current Music:Guster-Backyard
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Subject:It has been a while
Time:07:29 pm
Current Mood:contentcontent
THis whole l.j thing doesn't really fit me. I am way too spontaneous to and too busy to sit down and write about how I am feeling. However, Lizzie's recent post about her husband has gotten me in the mood to write about the future love of my life.

I hope to fall in love with a man who has some of these qualities:

1)intelligent
2) subtly sexy
3) good body-likes to stay healthy and fit
4) good with kids and my friends
5) there
It is a hard thing to do, describing something you someday hope to attain. I hope for love for not only for myself, for everyone. It is a wonderful thing to have love and to have on a certain level for life is amazing. I can't wait!!!!!!!
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Subject:Severe Suckage
Time:08:56 am
Current Mood:pissed offpissed off
Something was up yesturday. there was probably some severe planet rearrangement or something because everybody had a sucky day. First of issues with some of my peeps, and then my mother in a very loud, angry, and mean way told me she was refusing to pay. To Pay for anything. she is giving me jackshit for college and screw prom, i guess i haven't been doing enough for her. She told me that her way of saying i love you is by providing food, water, and shelter for me and that should be enough. WEll mom that is too damn bad that those things are required by law. That's right you are supposed to gicve me those things I shouldn't have to ask for them. So now that she is refusing to give me financial support FUCK HER. she has no right and the only reason I have been hanging on this long is because i don't have a job and I need her to pay for certin little incignifigant things. This little episode might sound stupid and unimportant in a coulple of days or even hours, but I don't care i am tried of not showing my emothion about these things because of the excuse that something worse is going to happen. This sux and i dont care who knows.

Prom- not a big deal at all except fot the fact that Travis is coming. UGH! And i love Travis, as friends, and I want to be able to see him and have fun with him that night. Now I have to beg him to bring in money for his ticket and limo, something I was planning on doing, and I have to ask my dad for as much money as I can with the hope that he will let me pay hime back this summer when I will probably working two jobs to pay for my freaking college tuition. FUCK! This sucks so freaking much. This is the only way i feel absolutly confident about expressing my feelings because when i complain to friends I feel like I am putting more shit on their shoulders and then i see how they react with such love and compassion and I feel bad about myself because here i am with these amazing people in my life and the one person who should love me no matter what, mother, gives me shit on a daily basis. And it is not like I am thi slut-drug addict punk that just has the "fuck you" attitude. I do my job, I do my sister's job. There really isn't a problem any other parent whould think either I have severe OCD or I was just. I do so much and she can't see it at all because she has this black anger inside her that needs air and when she looks at her fuck up, that is me the unplanned child the reason my mother had to marry my father, it comes alive. She disgusts me!
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Subject:Chem stuff
Time:01:41 pm
This message is primarily for Amy J. but if anyone else is interested...well, you are just wierd

We took class data from a different class

5.00 glycerol C3H8)3
in 50.0 grams of H2O
freezing point -7.9 degrees celcius
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Subject:YO
Time:01:02 pm
Last night was what it is all about. I must say I have quite an enjoyable time with the frisbee and picnic, but the after math of that was even better. I love being able to share ideas especially contrasing ideas with friends it brings you closer together. I hate being around people that do the same things all the time. Variety is goood good fun.



On a different note I am going to Orlando and having a blast with my awesome orchestra friends. It is going to be very very nice and fun.

That is all I have for today! HAPPY EASTER
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Current Music:the tapping of the keyboards in the library
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Subject:AH it's me again
Time:12:17 pm
Current Mood:cheerfulcheerful
Let's see I had a quite stressful crew day yesturday, but it taught me that even though I need a little more practise I think I am going to be a fine coxswain. I just hope that if I start getting good Mr. Collins will notice and maybe switch me to the boys. I LOVE BOYS! Lizzy....kuddos to her she is hillaious and one of the best passive agressors I have ever met. she rocks my world.

I am going to FLorida with the Orchestra on tuesday, 13th and I am not entirely exited. I mean I know I am going to have fun, but band trips seem so juvinial now that I am a wonderfully matured atult. Mwah ha ha ha ha yea right! My mother is trying to work on our relationship even though she still admits she is doing nothing wrong, but it is an attempt. OTher than that life is pretty civilized and all is going well.

* NOte to my EG peeps I want to chill with you guys either on Sun night or Monday night since I will be experience so severe seperational anxiety b/c my husband is going to Riviera MAya. very very nice. SO keep me in mind and give me a call because I want to hang out before i leave.
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Current Music:THe Hearts Cry- Riverdance
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Subject:Indeed some time has past................
Time:02:27 pm
Current Mood:contentcontent
Well I have been having some serious problems with my mother and myself. It is a bad situation my family, but I am done trying to fix it and even though I say that is some way, shape, or form I know I will never be able to give up completly on the relationship. I have thankfully had some unbelivable support throughout this time period and for that I am eternally greatful. My friends are awesome, but the ones I am close with rock my world.
I am seriously considering going to Hartwick College for at least freshmen year and I am going to see how I like it. If I feel that I am ready to spread my wings and soar both musically and any other way, I am going to apply as a transfer student to Northeastern University and possible some other university's in Boston. Then once I graduated there I think I might, instead of appplying for grad school apply to a conservatory. WOOHOO and rock the music scene for a while and after that I have no clue. I just hope things work out. I am sick of dissapointment!
This week comming up is going to be filled with crew, school, and church. I will be attending chuch a total of 4 days this week, hopefully including today. Easter is big time. I think Phil is leaving for Rivera Maya on Saturday and I am leaving for Florida on Tuesday so that will be fun. And other than that I NEED A NEW BASS!!!!!

That is all folks
TOoDlEs!!!!!
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Current Music:Josh Groban-When you say you love me
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Subject:Whew! it has been a while!
Time:01:12 pm
Current Mood:AWESOME!
Well, what has been going on in my life you ask? Well, I got into college. The name is Harwick College, from what I hear and read it is a crazy liberal arts school. I got a scholarship, but for some reason I don't think it is a good school. But, I got in and that is all I care about. This past week gave me an enitre new outlook on college. It really isn't that big of a deal. I wish i had some older friends to tell me that. Really there is no need to put that amount of stress on yourself. Other than that I have started crew, and I am pracising for my U-Mass Dartmouth audition. Wohooo, now that is stressful! My life is pretty routine besides those things I am performing in the talent show with Ben and Jamison, that's going to be fun! (slight sarcasim). We are playing a piece that Jamison wrote and The Joker, which is pretty cool. But at the same time I have All-State, so I figure that if I still enjoy playing the bass after this week I am a true musician and will be for life.
I LOVe MUSIC!!!!!!!!!!! I think it will be with for life which is wicked sweet. To be totally RI. That's it for now I love you all, and we will talk soon!!!!
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Current Music:Switchfoot
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Subject:I am a Beautiful Let Down
Time:06:02 pm
Current Mood:better
Depression....or as close as you can get while still have the knowledge of it consumes me. Why do I feel like the things I do and don't do, that see so insignificant affect me. It's life and I am not the only one it, everyone has a problem, why do I feel the need to flawnt mine. Even now as I complain to this silent choir of love, I feel wrong and unnessesary. Why? Why have I been chosen to be this person who seems so loving and yet causes so much dissappointment. Why do I feel that everyone else deserves love, but I am not good enough for it. This life of mine is slowly falling, fading, and slowly dying. Why?
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Current Music:Josh Groban-mi mancherai (il postino)
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Subject:Why Me?
Time:03:33 pm
Current Mood:rejectedrejected
HOW MANY OF YOU THINK I DON'T DESERVE LOVE? Why is she so horrible! Why me? I really don't understand and she is changing my attitude, everyone sees it, even me.
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[icon] Be normal when no one is watching
View:Recent Entries.
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You're looking at the latest 10 entries.
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